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Helpful Guidelines Advice
For Free Personals Sites
Making A Good First Impression
Internet Dating Singles Advice
Seeking Love Online?
There are no second chances at making a spectacular
first impression. Those first few seconds of contact
become a benchmark for every subsequent impression you
make. We are a world in a hurry, an accelerated pace
keeps us competitive, instant assumptions often lead
to immediate decisions to accept or reject a job, a
deal, or even a potential lover. In romance many of
us, especially anyone who has been around the block,
take a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get)
approach. Why second-guess the obvious? In just under
ten seconds, enough time to read the first few lines
of an email, glance at a profile or extend your hand
and offer a friendly "hello," someone is
forming a first and lasting impression of you. Is it a
good one?
Your Profile As A First Impression
Your profile is a uniquely personal introduction.
Think of it as equivalent to not only what you say
when first meeting a potential date, but also what you
are wearing, your posture, eye contact, the firmness
of your handshake--even your makeup, perfume or
cologne. While there is no one profile style that
suits everyone, a charming, humorous, poignant,
creative or otherwise distinctly unique approach may
improve your results. Likewise, there are some general
breeches of romantic protocol and self-expression that
should be avoided. You wouldn't show up late, wear a
soiled jacket, or chew with your mouth open on a first
date at a fine restaurant, so don't behave
inappropriately or to your romantic detriment in your
profile.
* Use an uncommon or striking headline. Avoid boring
demographic descriptions like "SF Seeks SM for
LTR." Instead, have some fun. Be daring! Elicit
an emotion! Express yourself!
* Proofread. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are as
important as content. Think of the presentation of
your message as a way of dressing for a date. While
clothes don't make the man (or woman), no one wants to
appear shoddy or unkempt.
* Say it with style. What you say may not be as
important as how you say it. Play with language. Write
poetry. Tell a story. Perform stand-up comedy.
* Be less-than perfect. Regardless of the style you
choose or the language you use to express yourself, be
careful not to extol your many virtues to the point of
boredom, or even suspicion. No one can be that
perfect. Your minor faults and charming
inconsistencies make you human, interesting and
approachable.
* Avoid sending up red flags. Don't whine, complain or
drivel on about any problems in your life. Refrain
from casting yourself in the role of the victim, the
egregiously wronged, or the emotionally mortally
wounded. Never use the word "desperate," or
bring up war stories from past relationships. Be
positive and optimistic. Chaos, depression and drama
aren't attractive attributes.
Your Email As A First Impression
Your first email is like the beginning of a cocktail
party conversation. Introduce yourself appropriately.
Listen as much as you talk. Show interest in the other
person. Be confident, but also genuine. Make eye
contact. Connect.
As with your profile, first emails should follow basic
rules for presentation and content. Experiment and
find a style that works for you. Use the subject line
like a headline, proofread, be creative, positive and
genuine. Avoid anything canned or trite. Pick-up lines
don't work and you will rarely make a good first
impression, or get a response using one. First emails
should always be individually written and work best
when conversational in style. Mention something about
the recipient's profile. Where did you sense a
connection? Ask a question or two and include some
brief information about yourself. It's OK to flirt or
tease a little, even during your first contact, but
keep things light and friendly.
First Impressions In The Real World
If all goes well, your spectacular profile and
carefully crafted emails will eventually lead to a
first date in the real world. Although you may feel as
though you already know each other, you have yet to
become familiar with each other's physical presence,
and that can take some getting used to. First
face-to-face encounters can be awkward or even
shocking, regardless of the positive feelings you
already have for each other.
You make your best real-world first impression by
being calmly and confidentially yourself. Try to enjoy
the nervous energy you are feeling. Have fun. Remember
to smile. People are perceived as more attractive when
they are having a good time. Your date will form an
immediate first (physical) impression of you, usually
in under ten seconds, based on some combination of
these attributes:
posture
walk
body language
attire
physical characteristics
smile/facial features
handshake
grooming
scent/perfume
eye contact
perceived confidence
perceived comfortableness
Inside Information On Positive And Negative
Impressions
Several hundred single men and women attending dating
and flirting classes were asked to list the attributes
they find attractive and unattractive in a potential
partner. Below is a list of the most frequent
responses. Although many of these attributes may not
be immediately apparent, most will show up sometime
during a first date.
Attributes Leading To A Positive Impression:
warmth
sense of humor
imagination
confidence
success
fitness
individuality
body language
conversational ability
aspiration
power
creativity
kindness
Attributes Leading To A Negative Impression:
self-centered
closed minded and judgmental
lack of manners
poor conversational ability
negative life attitude
lack of education
immature
indecisive/without an opinion
lack of integrity
war stories from past relationships
whining and complaining
shallowness
only interested in sex
power games and manipulation
materialistic
There are no do-overs when it comes to first
impressions, yet many of us fail to put our best foot
forward during early romantic encounters. We want to
be loved for who we are and are leery to
"package" ourselves in any way. This is
understandable, but not always realistic. Dating is a
numbers game and, like it or not, dating occurs in a
competitive environment. The next positive, first
romantic impression you make may turn into life-long
love--not a bad return on a relatively minor
investment.
For more advice on using personals, check out Personals Dating Advice These tips will guide you for online dating success.
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